Well today is the end of Week 8 on my Road to Challenge Phuket. Little bit of a bumpy end to the half-way mark with having to take an unplanned recovery day on Saturday due to another attack of sinusitis. Still not feeling great even today – but hopefully after some rest will be ready to get back in to things tomorrow.
I can’t believe it’s now less than 8 weeks until race day. I really am starting to wonder what I have gotten myself in for. The one saving grace is that as its my first Triathlon at this distance I have no idea – and ignorance can be bliss sometimes (not usually in my case though as I will make the story up in my head). I am also really looking forward to racing a Challenge event. Remember in my first blog I promised I would mention why I picked a challenge event and not an Ironman. It’s because I am starting to realise that sometimes it’s nice to support companies and events that are smaller, growing, more honest and still close to their core values. Don’t get me wrong – I fully intend to do an Ironman 70.3 or full IRONMAN sometime in the future (depending on how this race turns out) I just felt like I wanted to start with a race that was a little more laid back, relaxed and hopefully fun. You see, I tend to have a few issues controlling my nerves.
Yes that’s right, I have been known on occasion to ‘freak out‘ when I get nervous or out of my comfort zone. It usually results in me rushing, panicking, snapping at my husband or son – and missing some of that pre race atmosphere through being so wound up I’m about to EXPLODE (or I end up running to the bathroom the whole time) . Of course this type of behaviour is not usually restricted to just before races, it happens when I am flying, and also when I have to do something I haven’t done before. I’m kind of tired of it, so I am really putting myself out there at the moment with a few things that scare the crap out of me. Here are my top worries regarding Challenge Phuket:
- I’ve told everyone I know that I am doing this race (now I can’t get out of it)
- I am raising money for a charity – on my own for the first time (what if no-one supports me – what if i can’t reach the target)
- I have committed to 9-12 hours of training a week, while working full-time and juggling being a wife and mum (what if I just can’t do it all?)
- I am flying to the race, only 2 days before it starts ( this is already freaking me out I need more time)
- I’m flying possibility on my own with my 4-year-old son and my bike (what if they lose my bike?, what if I lose my son?)
- I haven’t seen the course – but I know it has hills – we don’t have any hills here……(I’m won’t be fit enough)
- I still don’t know how to change my rear tire properly (I’m 100% going to get a flat tire on this race)
Trust me that is not an exhaustive list, it goes on and on in my head. This endless survival “cave women” instinct of thinking that the worst is always going to happen and that I need to be fully prepared for every outcome, or whats worst that I can somehow control all the outcomes and situations. I see these people who just seem to float through life (and Triathlons) and I think, how are they doing that. How are they so calm, and not worried they are going to be late, or their baggage is lost, or there going to miss the start of the race and oh my goodness that would be the worst thing on earth. This is the part where I realise how ridiculous it is to get overly worried about these things, and how much you miss and don’t experience when you are in that stressed state.
My aim is to try to float through this experience and the race – so when I start hearing the stressed out voice in my head I’m going to to take a few deep breaths and smile to myself.
So if you happen to be racing Challenge Phuket on the 1st of December and you see this strange-looking chick, heavy breathing and smiling at the start line – that will probably be me.